1. SCREENING

    SCREENING

    Verb.  Definition:  To remove one’s full attention from the real world by staring at the video screen of a computer, hand held device, smart phone, iPad, iPod, TV or other digital escape unit.

    Examples:

    He was screening the whole time I tried to talk to him.  Couldn’t take his eyes off his damn iPhone.

    Screening while driving is dangerous.

    No screening in my class.

    He claims he has no time to read.  But if he read half as much as he screened he’d have read half the library by now!

    SCREENER

    Noun.  Definition:  Someone who screens excessively.  Made worse if done during social gatherings where direct engagement is subsequently diminished or entirely interrupted.

    Examples: 

    Hey Screener!  Put your damn iPad down and join the conversation.

    He’s a nice guy and all, but a total screener.  Why even bother inviting him?  He’ll just screen all night and won’t hear a word you say.

    Screen time is away time.  How long are you away each day?

  2. Life: Redefined

    The definition of LIFE has finally lost all meaning: